Day 3 - Lazy
I wasn't going to post today as I have done nothing worth speaking of. I was feeling guilty sitting outside in the sun because I felt I should be "doing something". I slept in til 8.30am and then didn't do my exercise routine. I was feeling bad that my phone calls to the bank and various creditors failed to either get through or get any answers so I gave up. My marathon training hasn't yet started, I haven't written a novel and I still haven't lost 3 stone. And my grey hair is taking too long to grow out.
But! Sitting outside in the beautiful sunshine I just put my book down, closed my eyes and thought. I can't remember the last time I had time to properly think. I thought about when this is all over (who knows when but one day) and I can go and see my mum and give her the biggest hug and tell her how much I love her and have missed her. And I thought about when I can go and see my grandma and sit with her and put the world to rights with a coffee and biscuits. And a family party where we are so excited to see each other again and share all our news about house work and gardening. I imagined a walk along the beach with the wind in my hair and the waves beneath my toes. I pictured swimming in a bright blue sea with the sun burning my shoulders looking at a golden beach and mountains while enjoying a foreign holiday with Mia. And I thought of visiting my dad's ashes up on the Yorkshire Moors, with the glorious views and the scent of heather all around me. These are things I miss but will do again.
And I thought of this new era, when I can spend more time with my close family. This time I can use to do all the things I have wanted to do for ages but life before was too busy. And I felt better. It's not going to be easy but everyone is in this together.
I also thought of all the amazing people who are keeping this world going - the NHS, other hospital workers, shop staff, refuse collectors and many others. And I felt humbled.
So when I come out of this, able to run a marathon in under 2 hours, a size 10, with cool short silver hair and a published novel under my belt, I will remember this period of all this extra valuable time, and I will remember all the wonderful people who kept the country going and cared for our sick.
(Pic is a beautiful sunset over Clifton Moor)
But! Sitting outside in the beautiful sunshine I just put my book down, closed my eyes and thought. I can't remember the last time I had time to properly think. I thought about when this is all over (who knows when but one day) and I can go and see my mum and give her the biggest hug and tell her how much I love her and have missed her. And I thought about when I can go and see my grandma and sit with her and put the world to rights with a coffee and biscuits. And a family party where we are so excited to see each other again and share all our news about house work and gardening. I imagined a walk along the beach with the wind in my hair and the waves beneath my toes. I pictured swimming in a bright blue sea with the sun burning my shoulders looking at a golden beach and mountains while enjoying a foreign holiday with Mia. And I thought of visiting my dad's ashes up on the Yorkshire Moors, with the glorious views and the scent of heather all around me. These are things I miss but will do again.
And I thought of this new era, when I can spend more time with my close family. This time I can use to do all the things I have wanted to do for ages but life before was too busy. And I felt better. It's not going to be easy but everyone is in this together.
I also thought of all the amazing people who are keeping this world going - the NHS, other hospital workers, shop staff, refuse collectors and many others. And I felt humbled.
So when I come out of this, able to run a marathon in under 2 hours, a size 10, with cool short silver hair and a published novel under my belt, I will remember this period of all this extra valuable time, and I will remember all the wonderful people who kept the country going and cared for our sick.
Comments
Post a Comment