Surviving C19 Lockdown

Ok, I’m pissed off with it all now. I just want it to end! Up until now it’s been ok. Apart from the first few days that were scary and confusing, and very stressful. But since then we are kind of in a routine and for many reasons actually enjoying. But I’ve just spoken to my lovely mum. And it’s hit home. This is not going to be ok again for a very long time. Apparently a guy over the road from mum says he has been told he can’t go out for a year as he has very serious breathing issues. And mum said on the phone “it’s going to be a long time for me as well” due to her being over 70. And my heart broke. I miss her. And I know she misses her life as it was. For a lady her age she was always busy, family, church stuff, cycling here there and everywhere, looking after others, endless days out with us. And now nothing but a walk a day. I just want to see her and for it to be normal. I’m not naive enough to have thought once lockdown ends everything will go back to the way it was, but toni...

I don’t normally write a blog so late at night, (10pm!), but Russ has gone to bed and I thought that would allow some lovely mother / daughter time together as it’s still officially school holidays as tomorrow should have been a teacher training day. So, when I excitedly asked Mia the question  “would you like to stay up a bit later tonight and snuggle up with me and watch TV together?”, the answer was a quick and blunt “no”, I realised I should learn from this experience.... Never interrupt Sims play. Do not think for one minute that “snuggles with mum” at 11 years old will ever come before FaceTime with her bestie. Plan for such a senario in the future. Random time to myself is so unheard of there should be a back up plan. For example something suitable for my own viewing on the hard drive. But there is nothing, and I’m so tired of the news, I have found myself writing another random blog. We have acquired a baby blackbird today. It’s a very sad story but our “cute” kitten stal...

The last few days have been spent doing what most people seem to have been doing.... Zoom calls,  gardening, painting, tidying the house, cooking new meals, a colder than planned bbq on Sunday, daily walks, more Zoom calls.... And I’ve been busy! Hence no blog for a few days. Then I felt guilty! I had it on my list of stuff to do that I would write a new blog every 1 - 2 days during lockdown! How could I fail so early on in the process? Then I realised my list also stipulates that I will write “a letter a day to people I love to keep in touch with” and I haven’t written one today because we have been painting Mia's room for most of the day. But I wrote 2 letters yesterday.... And I realised it doesn't actually matter if things are not done exactly as planned. And my lists, as much as I love them, can be amended day to day. During a normal working day I have tight deadlines and jobs I must attend at certain times and images that have to be sent off by the end of each day. When I...

I woke up this morning and cast my mind back to the events of the day before. Confused images of my mum dressed in party wear and running trainers, jogging down the street having completed a park run in New Earswick flashed in to my mind. A vision of her skipping in to a house party, bottle in hand, and becoming lost in a crowd of revelers. I remembered my panic as I braved the hoards of party goers, frantically trying to find her and remove her from the Corona Virus breeding ground before she inhaled any deadly particles or touched a surface infected with germs. The music was banging, the drunken people were squashed together like hill walkers on Snowden last weekend. It was horrendous, where was my mum and why was she here when she should be self isolating? This wasn't usual behavior for my peaceful, church going, bicycle riding, tea total, lovely and reserved 71 year old mum.... Then I realised it was all a dream. Thank God! At least something interesting is happening in my drea...

I wasn't going to post today as I have done nothing worth speaking of. I was feeling guilty sitting outside in the sun because I felt I should be "doing something". I slept in til 8.30am and then didn't do my exercise routine. I was feeling bad that my phone calls to the bank and various creditors failed to either get through or get any answers so I gave up. My marathon training hasn't yet started, I haven't written a novel and I still haven't lost 3 stone. And my grey hair is taking too long to grow out. But! Sitting outside in the beautiful sunshine I just put my book down, closed my eyes and thought. I can't remember the last time I had time to properly think. I thought about when this is all over (who knows when but one day) and I can go and see my mum and give her the biggest hug and tell her how much I love her and have missed her. And I thought about when I can go and see my grandma and sit with her and put the world to rights with a coffee an...

Today was the day after the night before.... This thing has been getting more and more scary by the day. But last night (Monday March 23rd 2020, a date which will be referred to many times in history books to come) at 8.30pm, it was official - the UK is in lockdown! Surreal doesn't even come in to it, even though we all knew it was going to happen (thanks people who crowded to the mountains and and coast at the weekend!) So, I officially have no jobs for the foreseeable future. Being self employed means no income. No income means no means of paying the bills or mortgage. And my photography business that I have lovingly built up over 20 years has a very uncertain future. As I know is the case for so many others at this difficult time. And I have a precious 11 year old daughter who needs schooling and entertaining. So today, I woke up (an hour later than usual - OK, it's not a holiday but it's not a work day either!) put on my gym outfit and went in to the studio to do a ...