Surviving C19 Lockdown

I thought my last post would be my final one because I was writing this blog during lockdown. And now I am officially out of it, I thought I would stop. But I miss writing! So I’m gonna carry on, as and when I feel the need, and as and if people enjoy reading it. It’s been weird. Going back to work. I know many people have worked through this whole thing, and that must have been shit. Or not, if you love your job and can carry on in some kind of normal way at home. But my heart goes out to all the key workers who have been so strong and completely inspirational throughout.  For me it felt so sudden going back! One day I was in the lockdown bubble, and then one night it was announced “the property market is back. Tomorrow!” Bit of a shock... And for me, just a “normal self employed worker” I’ve gone from stressing about having no work and no income, to worrying about not enough work to go back to when I can, to thinking about safety, to not wanting to wear PPE, then being to...

So, I have just sat down in our freshly painted, lovely looking conservatory, in my pjs after a nice bath, and settled down to write a blog with a glass of red. Table just got knocked (due to crazy kitten running round the room) and red wine went all over the lovely light grey rug. But it's fine. It will stain but there are more pressing things to think about. I started this blog at the very beginning of lockdown, for a few different reasons. - I panicked and didn't know what to do with myself! - I have always wanted to write - I had time to write - It helped me get my head around the unbelievable and scary situation - I felt the need to get my thoughts and feelings out somehow and the only way I have ever been able to do this is by writing it down. (or drinking too much and making a tit of myself....) For me, lockdown has (unfortunately for many reasons) ended. I am getting jobs coming in now for property photography and I think from next week onwards I will become i...

So, on Sunday night we listened to Boris's update at 7pm with anticipation. I wasn't expecting much to change to be honest, although I was hoping he would say we are allowed to leave the house for longer and go a bit further afield for outdoor exercise. Which he did say, and that is great. But the rest? Well I am quite confused and I don't think I am the only one..... - Work from home if you can - If you can't then go to work - But not until Wednesday - If you do go to work make sure you can work at a social distance - If you can't then work from home - If you can't work from home go to work - But don't use public transport - If you can't drive / walk / cycle to work then work from home - If you have to use public transport keep your distance - But don't use public transport - When in the work place be alert - When at home be alert - Drive wherever you like for as much exercise as you want for as long as you like but go home if these pl...

A lovely afternoon spent socially distancing with the neighbours, enjoying celebrating VE Day whilst catching up over cake and gin. I felt privileged they allowed me to move my chair in to the road a bit closer to their grass. Today is the first “proper” catch up in person I have had with anyone outside my own house, other than dropping shopping off and chatting briefly from the gate. Today was as close to “proper” as it gets in these times. We even had chairs and a table, imagine..... So VE Day has been lovely. For many reasons. A catch up with friends (who are also the neighbours), sitting outside in the sun somewhere other than my own garden, a reason to make more scones, and a perfect excuse to drink gin even earlier than usual at 3pm.  But actually it’s emotional. I’ve seen loads of photos on social media about the war, and the bombings, and the loss of life, and the hardships faced. And I remember my amazing grandpa and all he, and many others, did for their country to giv...

As you know if you have read my previous blogs, I love making lists. Tonight, I have already started tomorrow’s list with the word “gin”.  I’d never been a gin drinker until my mother in law (your fault if you are reading this Kate!) gave me a glass at their house a couple of years ago. And it was delicious. And ever since I have tried to have a bottle in the house for special occasions. Pre lockdown a gin and tonic was my Saturday “treat” before I opened a bottle of Prosecco. (Don’t judge, it was once a week) I felt naughty if I had a G and T around 6pm as it seemed far too early. (Note to readers, I haven’t always been a prude, in fact in the day’s before kids, any time after 12.01pm was more than acceptable to open a bottle of White Lightning, which was consumed all afternoon and in to the evening without thought or regret. Until the next day. However! I became a mum and I got old. And really dull. So these days a drink pre 6pm is unheard of. And a drink on any night other...

Things I am looking forward to doing when this is over.... - Not having to check the Tesco delivery slot availability 27 times a day  - Getting a regular Tesco delivery slot again  - When going for a walk, not opening gates like a freak of a person with my top stretched over hands in a bizarre “jumper-gloves-combo” whilst trying to assist useless hands with other body parts such as knees, shoulder, hip, bum, feet  - Having the house to myself - Hugging my mum - Going shopping without having to stop dead in the isle to avoid passing someone, or having to double back on myself to go 10 isles out of my way to either adhere to the arrows on the floor, or find an isle with no other people down it (usually due to bare shelves down that free isle) - Going out for a full day - Going on holiday - Watching Coro more than 3 times a week - Being able to have a work meeting or social catch up without having to look at my own fat face on a screen as I talk to oth...

I’ve heard from people, and seen on Zoom and social media, many are struggling with working in lockdown with young children. I will admit I don’t envy these guys, although at the start of lockdown I did. When it first happened I wished that Mia was younger, so I could have that time with her without having to work. Just the 3 of us with total family time, and I would happily have gone back to the days of playing schools and trains and Lego and crafts and story’s. We did all these things when Mia was little and I know I am lucky to have spent so much time just me and her over the years. So when this all started I was envious of those with young kids who were not allowed to work, and even those that have to. It’s perfect, I naively thought, they can spend all this lovely family time together... I was a fool! I’ve heard from many how hard it is looking after little ones in lockdown, and most of these people have to work as well! And from what I’ve heard it is very difficult indeed. And, ...

Ok, I’m pissed off with it all now. I just want it to end! Up until now it’s been ok. Apart from the first few days that were scary and confusing, and very stressful. But since then we are kind of in a routine and for many reasons actually enjoying. But I’ve just spoken to my lovely mum. And it’s hit home. This is not going to be ok again for a very long time. Apparently a guy over the road from mum says he has been told he can’t go out for a year as he has very serious breathing issues. And mum said on the phone “it’s going to be a long time for me as well” due to her being over 70. And my heart broke. I miss her. And I know she misses her life as it was. For a lady her age she was always busy, family, church stuff, cycling here there and everywhere, looking after others, endless days out with us. And now nothing but a walk a day. I just want to see her and for it to be normal. I’m not naive enough to have thought once lockdown ends everything will go back to the way it was, but toni...

This is a shit storm and we are all in it but sailing different boats... Some are great big armoured submarines battling through regardless, a few are luxury yachts enjoying relaxing times in the sun with no financial worries at all, some are hardworking fishing boats desperately hoping for a good catch to get them through, and there are those more like flimsy rafts, through no fault of their own, finding it difficult to stay afloat.  I have been on Zoom calls talking to business owners who feel guilty about working. They say that they feel bad about securing work in these horrible times. But the outcome of these calls (thanks to others more knowledgable than me!) is don’t! Do not feel guilty if you are working. This county and other businesses need you to keep us all going. Key workers are obviously needed, but there are many others, “almost key workers” whom are needed to help those unable to work. Keep going you people! Keep motivating your furloughed staff, keep the busine...

Not actual crap, or even feeling crap, but a nice sort of crap. (I hope) I have written an Acrostic Poem (apparently, according to Mia.) So for example.... C orona R elated A crostic P oem But I went on a lovely walk yesterday through the fields of my old school and where my late dad grew up living on his family farm. And it brought back memories, thoughts and emotions, and it was a beautiful spring day, and it almost felt like everything was ok. I pictured my lovely dad as a boy, playing in the fields of his home. And I thought, with great sorrow, how he would feel about us going through all this without him. And I wished he was here with us. And then I was glad he wasn’t. But the farm kept working and the animals kept grazing and the grasses kept blowing. And I just wanted to write a poem. Which is probably crap, but I feel like I’ve exposed myself (not literally thank God!) enough on here already, so why not..... DAILYWALK poem. Discovering new pathways, different routes, ...

I don’t normally write a blog so late at night, (10pm!), but Russ has gone to bed and I thought that would allow some lovely mother / daughter time together as it’s still officially school holidays as tomorrow should have been a teacher training day. So, when I excitedly asked Mia the question  “would you like to stay up a bit later tonight and snuggle up with me and watch TV together?”, the answer was a quick and blunt “no”, I realised I should learn from this experience.... Never interrupt Sims play. Do not think for one minute that “snuggles with mum” at 11 years old will ever come before FaceTime with her bestie. Plan for such a senario in the future. Random time to myself is so unheard of there should be a back up plan. For example something suitable for my own viewing on the hard drive. But there is nothing, and I’m so tired of the news, I have found myself writing another random blog. We have acquired a baby blackbird today. It’s a very sad story but our “cute” kitten stal...

A better day today! In fact a good day.... This world pandemic has a habit of changing people's moods as frequently as we wash our hands these days. Today is a good day for many reasons, the main one being I have the perfect excuse to write an extra list for the day..... - I got a Tesco delivery slot! (Yes, I feel guilty as I can actually go the store, but I am a regular Tesco delivery receiver and have been for the last 10 years, so surely loyalty should count for something. Plus, with only 80 items allowed per slot, I have filled up on basics and can now do smaller shops in person for a while until I am able to get another slot in 6 months time). - Got to see mum from the gate for 10 mins (this a good thing but second to getting a delivery slot, sorry mum). - There was a bag of flour and a packet of biscuits waiting for us at the gate on our arrival, which we quickly scooped away whilst jumping back, before breathing any Corona germs 12 meters down the driveway where mum cowe...

“To be grey or not to be grey, that is the question.” I know this is a shallow and unimportant question in the scheme of the global pandemic, and I do feel guilty for asking the question. My thoughts are always with the NHS and all key workers and I am in total admiration for all they do. I cannot comprehend how difficult life is for these wonderful people and right now, and every day, I count my blessings that “all I have to do is stay at home”. While it’s not easy when all my beloved work has been cancelled or rearranged, I do know I am one of the lucky ones who just has to do our bit by staying at home. However, writing this blog is, for me, a way of voicing my thoughts and trying to stay positive, and if at all possible, trying to bring some kind of lightheartedness to this madness. So please don’t judge me for writing about my hair. I actually don’t care about it to be honest. Anyone who knows me will admit my hair always looks shit at the best of times. And anyone who doesn’t...

So, it is officially “Easter Holidays”, school should have broken up yesterday and we should have been looking forward to two weeks of time off. Well, time off for Mia, with me trying to fit work in around childcare... But with no routine of getting up and out of the house for school, which I love. But that hasn’t happened for two weeks already so the new way of living now feels like the norm, and days and weeks blur in to each other and it’s difficult to differentiate between them. Has it only been two weeks...? As much as it’s hard when I work during school holidays, I have always loved them and made the most of them. As all working mums do. Thanks to help from my mum and play dates (can’t really call them that now Mia is 11 years old...) I have always managed to fit my usual amount of jobs in, over less but longer days, freeing up some of the holiday for days out and mini breaks. I am so lucky to be self employed and, as much as I can, I manage my own time. Obviously it’s totally di...

- Will the world ever be the same again? - How did this happen? - If it started in China’s wet markets will they be shut down forever? - Where will we go on our next holiday? (Probs not South China) - Where will we go on our next day out? - How can NHS workers be so brave? - Can my business survive? - If not, what will I do? - How bad will my hair look in a few more weeks? - Will I look a total tit with short grey hair? - Will anyone notice if I emerge with a full moustache and beard? - Will people always keep a social distance? (They will from me if I have a beard) - Will it ever be possible to buy hand gel again? - How would I survive this without my cats? - Would it be easier if it was just me and the cats? - Why are my house and garden still a mess? - I’m exercising most days, why am I not loosing weight? - Is it because I’m eating and drinking more than usual? - How do teachers get kids to do any school work? - Why won’t my daughter let me help her with school w...

I woke up this morning and cast my mind back to the events of the day before. Confused images of my mum dressed in party wear and running trainers, jogging down the street having completed a park run in New Earswick flashed in to my mind. A vision of her skipping in to a house party, bottle in hand, and becoming lost in a crowd of revelers. I remembered my panic as I braved the hoards of party goers, frantically trying to find her and remove her from the Corona Virus breeding ground before she inhaled any deadly particles or touched a surface infected with germs. The music was banging, the drunken people were squashed together like hill walkers on Snowden last weekend. It was horrendous, where was my mum and why was she here when she should be self isolating? This wasn't usual behavior for my peaceful, church going, bicycle riding, tea total, lovely and reserved 71 year old mum.... Then I realised it was all a dream. Thank God! At least something interesting is happening in my drea...

Is it really Saturday? I wasn't sure when I woke up. Loosing track of days fast and it is only week 1.... I often work weekends, which is fine, as I love (not "loved" - I will be back!) my job, and I am so lucky that what I do doesn't feel like work. But I also love (and really appreciate) a weekend off to spend time with Mia, and go out to lovely places. Usually on these Saturdays I wake up with butterflies in my stomach, excited about the 2 days ahead. But today I awoke with the same sense of dread and worry that I have woken up with for the past few weeks, and more so in recent days. Dread for the situation the world is in, and worry for the UK, who are really only just starting on this journey. However, a Saturday off work is still a Saturday off work, and I am trying to normalise this shit as much as I can, so to mark the occasion I stayed in my pjs until 10am. I also treated myself to wearing make up on this special day, which I haven't done since Tuesday,...

I wasn't going to post today as I have done nothing worth speaking of. I was feeling guilty sitting outside in the sun because I felt I should be "doing something". I slept in til 8.30am and then didn't do my exercise routine. I was feeling bad that my phone calls to the bank and various creditors failed to either get through or get any answers so I gave up. My marathon training hasn't yet started, I haven't written a novel and I still haven't lost 3 stone. And my grey hair is taking too long to grow out. But! Sitting outside in the beautiful sunshine I just put my book down, closed my eyes and thought. I can't remember the last time I had time to properly think. I thought about when this is all over (who knows when but one day) and I can go and see my mum and give her the biggest hug and tell her how much I love her and have missed her. And I thought about when I can go and see my grandma and sit with her and put the world to rights with a coffee an...

So today I tackled my usually most hated job of the week. Cleaning the guinea pigs out. Normally this fills me with dread, it’s a big hutch with, after a week, lots of shit in it. In past weeks I do the dreaded clean out as soon as Mia is out the door to school, rushing round, trying to get it done before I set off for my days jobs. Today, however, was different. I rocked up to the hutch at an unheard of 9.40am. The sun was shining and I took my time, instead of rushing round like a crazed person to fit it in before work. I even shouted Mia out in to the garden and we held and stroked the guinea pigs for ages before putting them in to their lovely clean run for the day. I smiled as I picked the poo out from under my nails and realised, that actually, it’s not such a horrible job after all.... (ask me again on a busy work day when it’s pissing it down with rain and my opinion may have reverted back). Another good job done today was sweeping up the Autumn leaves up from the garden. Don...