Surviving C19 Lockdown

Well what a day today! Absolute shit for most of it, but intermingled with such lovely bits of awesomeness that I’ve gone from crying my eyes out earlier to feeling thankful and almost happy. This Corona businesses is sure messing with people’s emotions! So it started off badly when the cooker blew up last night. Not literally, but it kind of popped and caught fire. Thankfully I wasn’t cooking. Somehow Russ managed to rescue his lasagne and it tasted as gorgeous as usual. So today I awoke with high hopes that the oven might have just been having an off evening (which we are all entitled to do in these unprecedented times.) But no, I checked it this morning (after my new circuits and yoga regime to start my day in the right frame of mind) and it billowed out so much smoke I nearly had to crawl out of the kitchen with my face to the floor. So, it's home cooked meals using the hob only from now on. Or takeaways. But due to lack of funds the former is the only option, so until we can...

Ok, I’m pissed off with it all now. I just want it to end! Up until now it’s been ok. Apart from the first few days that were scary and confusing, and very stressful. But since then we are kind of in a routine and for many reasons actually enjoying. But I’ve just spoken to my lovely mum. And it’s hit home. This is not going to be ok again for a very long time. Apparently a guy over the road from mum says he has been told he can’t go out for a year as he has very serious breathing issues. And mum said on the phone “it’s going to be a long time for me as well” due to her being over 70. And my heart broke. I miss her. And I know she misses her life as it was. For a lady her age she was always busy, family, church stuff, cycling here there and everywhere, looking after others, endless days out with us. And now nothing but a walk a day. I just want to see her and for it to be normal. I’m not naive enough to have thought once lockdown ends everything will go back to the way it was, but toni...

This is a shit storm and we are all in it but sailing different boats... Some are great big armoured submarines battling through regardless, a few are luxury yachts enjoying relaxing times in the sun with no financial worries at all, some are hardworking fishing boats desperately hoping for a good catch to get them through, and there are those more like flimsy rafts, through no fault of their own, finding it difficult to stay afloat.  I have been on Zoom calls talking to business owners who feel guilty about working. They say that they feel bad about securing work in these horrible times. But the outcome of these calls (thanks to others more knowledgable than me!) is don’t! Do not feel guilty if you are working. This county and other businesses need you to keep us all going. Key workers are obviously needed, but there are many others, “almost key workers” whom are needed to help those unable to work. Keep going you people! Keep motivating your furloughed staff, keep the busine...

Not actual crap, or even feeling crap, but a nice sort of crap. (I hope) I have written an Acrostic Poem (apparently, according to Mia.) So for example.... C orona R elated A crostic P oem But I went on a lovely walk yesterday through the fields of my old school and where my late dad grew up living on his family farm. And it brought back memories, thoughts and emotions, and it was a beautiful spring day, and it almost felt like everything was ok. I pictured my lovely dad as a boy, playing in the fields of his home. And I thought, with great sorrow, how he would feel about us going through all this without him. And I wished he was here with us. And then I was glad he wasn’t. But the farm kept working and the animals kept grazing and the grasses kept blowing. And I just wanted to write a poem. Which is probably crap, but I feel like I’ve exposed myself (not literally thank God!) enough on here already, so why not..... DAILYWALK poem. Discovering new pathways, different routes, ...

I don’t normally write a blog so late at night, (10pm!), but Russ has gone to bed and I thought that would allow some lovely mother / daughter time together as it’s still officially school holidays as tomorrow should have been a teacher training day. So, when I excitedly asked Mia the question  “would you like to stay up a bit later tonight and snuggle up with me and watch TV together?”, the answer was a quick and blunt “no”, I realised I should learn from this experience.... Never interrupt Sims play. Do not think for one minute that “snuggles with mum” at 11 years old will ever come before FaceTime with her bestie. Plan for such a senario in the future. Random time to myself is so unheard of there should be a back up plan. For example something suitable for my own viewing on the hard drive. But there is nothing, and I’m so tired of the news, I have found myself writing another random blog. We have acquired a baby blackbird today. It’s a very sad story but our “cute” kitten stal...

A better day today! In fact a good day.... This world pandemic has a habit of changing people's moods as frequently as we wash our hands these days. Today is a good day for many reasons, the main one being I have the perfect excuse to write an extra list for the day..... - I got a Tesco delivery slot! (Yes, I feel guilty as I can actually go the store, but I am a regular Tesco delivery receiver and have been for the last 10 years, so surely loyalty should count for something. Plus, with only 80 items allowed per slot, I have filled up on basics and can now do smaller shops in person for a while until I am able to get another slot in 6 months time). - Got to see mum from the gate for 10 mins (this a good thing but second to getting a delivery slot, sorry mum). - There was a bag of flour and a packet of biscuits waiting for us at the gate on our arrival, which we quickly scooped away whilst jumping back, before breathing any Corona germs 12 meters down the driveway where mum cowe...

Been feeling a bit down these last couple of days. No particular reason (except there is a world wide pandemic, I’m worried, I have no income, I miss family and friends, and no one knows if life will ever get back to how it was) I need to pull myself together.... No actually I don’t. I realise there are so many people out there who are worse off then me. NHS and all key workers, ill people (CV or any illness), people who have lost their job, people who can’t claim anything, those who can’t see loved ones even for a few minutes with shopping, those in abusive relationships, and I think worst of all, those who have lost someone close to them in these times. And I’ve just had a couple of days where the enormity of it all has kind of hit me. Watching the whole world suffer is unbearable. When all this started I was in survival mode for my business. Keeping busy trying to sort out financial issues and do all I could to make sure my business can come back from this. The initial fear of losin...

“To be grey or not to be grey, that is the question.” I know this is a shallow and unimportant question in the scheme of the global pandemic, and I do feel guilty for asking the question. My thoughts are always with the NHS and all key workers and I am in total admiration for all they do. I cannot comprehend how difficult life is for these wonderful people and right now, and every day, I count my blessings that “all I have to do is stay at home”. While it’s not easy when all my beloved work has been cancelled or rearranged, I do know I am one of the lucky ones who just has to do our bit by staying at home. However, writing this blog is, for me, a way of voicing my thoughts and trying to stay positive, and if at all possible, trying to bring some kind of lightheartedness to this madness. So please don’t judge me for writing about my hair. I actually don’t care about it to be honest. Anyone who knows me will admit my hair always looks shit at the best of times. And anyone who doesn’t...

Two and a half weeks in to lockdown and already this life is feeling almost normal. There is a new routine (or lack of) for everything and the pace of life is so slow and uneventful compared to how it was. I popped round to my lovely grandma's earlier with some shopping essentials and we chatted from a safe distance (how often do we now use this once obsolete phrase?) in the garden. She is amazing. 98 and totally unfazed by all this. She just says her life hasn’t actually changed that much, which I guess it hasn’t, apart from that she is seeing less of people and can’t go to church. Normally I would stay longer and have a coffee with her, and probably some biscuits with a best before date of Jan 1982, but these days I take my own bottle of water and have a good excuse to pass on the biccies. We talked about the usual things, Corona, both world wars, politics, immigration, Corona, Spanish Flu, and how weird I will look when my hair is the same colour as hers in a few weeks... I ...

The last few days have been spent doing what most people seem to have been doing.... Zoom calls,  gardening, painting, tidying the house, cooking new meals, a colder than planned bbq on Sunday, daily walks, more Zoom calls.... And I’ve been busy! Hence no blog for a few days. Then I felt guilty! I had it on my list of stuff to do that I would write a new blog every 1 - 2 days during lockdown! How could I fail so early on in the process? Then I realised my list also stipulates that I will write “a letter a day to people I love to keep in touch with” and I haven’t written one today because we have been painting Mia's room for most of the day. But I wrote 2 letters yesterday.... And I realised it doesn't actually matter if things are not done exactly as planned. And my lists, as much as I love them, can be amended day to day. During a normal working day I have tight deadlines and jobs I must attend at certain times and images that have to be sent off by the end of each day. When I...

So, it is officially “Easter Holidays”, school should have broken up yesterday and we should have been looking forward to two weeks of time off. Well, time off for Mia, with me trying to fit work in around childcare... But with no routine of getting up and out of the house for school, which I love. But that hasn’t happened for two weeks already so the new way of living now feels like the norm, and days and weeks blur in to each other and it’s difficult to differentiate between them. Has it only been two weeks...? As much as it’s hard when I work during school holidays, I have always loved them and made the most of them. As all working mums do. Thanks to help from my mum and play dates (can’t really call them that now Mia is 11 years old...) I have always managed to fit my usual amount of jobs in, over less but longer days, freeing up some of the holiday for days out and mini breaks. I am so lucky to be self employed and, as much as I can, I manage my own time. Obviously it’s totally di...

- Will the world ever be the same again? - How did this happen? - If it started in China’s wet markets will they be shut down forever? - Where will we go on our next holiday? (Probs not South China) - Where will we go on our next day out? - How can NHS workers be so brave? - Can my business survive? - If not, what will I do? - How bad will my hair look in a few more weeks? - Will I look a total tit with short grey hair? - Will anyone notice if I emerge with a full moustache and beard? - Will people always keep a social distance? (They will from me if I have a beard) - Will it ever be possible to buy hand gel again? - How would I survive this without my cats? - Would it be easier if it was just me and the cats? - Why are my house and garden still a mess? - I’m exercising most days, why am I not loosing weight? - Is it because I’m eating and drinking more than usual? - How do teachers get kids to do any school work? - Why won’t my daughter let me help her with school w...

I was determined to use this time we have found ourselves with as the opportunity to have lots of lovely extra family time. When lockdown was first announced I had visions of a daily walk together, all 3 of us linking arms and chatting and laughing together as the wind rippled through our hair and the fresh air made our cheeks (already aching from laughter) red and tingly. My mind pictured me helping Mia with her school work, sitting down together from 9am until 3pm, and working through it happily, learning together and enjoying each other's company. I assumed this could be fitted in around my own work, telephone calls and Zoom meetings, with an hour's break for a home cooked healthy lunch eaten in the garden together, perhaps followed by a ball game, before returning to our desks. The house and garden would naturally be spotless, as with all this extra time, how could they be anything else? Once the day's work had been completed, the 3 of us would sit down for a tasty meal...